Archive for the ‘Female PUA’ Category

What I find attractive in a man

June 8, 2009

This is the ‘type’ of guy I usually go for. It’s not a ‘checklist’ as such. But If I met a guy possesing any of following views/characterists I would find him very attractive for a LTR.

 

1. Must be/want to be self employed. I think working in big firm gives you a false sense of security. And I like ambitious men that aren’t scared to do their own thing. I also find self employed men much more positive and less stressed.

2. Not religious. I’m totally at peace with my views on religion so he must understand that.

3. Have self worth. Self-confidence. Be able to feel good about himself and not need others approval. Not need expensive clothes/ car for an ego boost.

4. Be assertive. Be able to say no.

 5. Be honest and live as transparently as possible.

6. Be his OWN person.

7. Deal well with stress/ pressure. Not break down if things go wrong.

 8. Get on well woith others. Be sociable and friendly.

9. Firm handshake. Good eyecontact. Personal magnetism.

 10. Positive mental arttitude.

 11. Want others to be successful and happy.

12. No depemdence on drugs, alcohol etc.

13. Take care of body. Enjoy hiking/walking or other forms of exercise.

14. Intelligent. I don’t mean neccessarily having 3 masters degrees. But have some life experience.

 15. Be able to teach yourself new things. Not rely on others to teach you.

16. Good discussions about religion/spirituatlity/ poltics/ social dynamics/ sex.

17. Healthy attitude towards money. Not need money from an ego standpoint. But want success and freedom.

18. I want businesses that can be run from anywhere in the world. So someone that shares my dream of living on private island and traveling.

19. I don’t do birthdays. Must understand that and not think I’m weird. My philosophy is you buy stuff when you NEED it. So birthday pointless.

20. Helthy attitude toward sex. No religious or other damaging beliefs about sex.

21. High sex drive. Most successful men I have met have a high sex drive. So thats always a good sign.

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The perfect women

May 21, 2009

One of the best blog posts I have read; courtesy of therawness.com:

  • Realize that men view things differently than women, and those differences in view are equally valid and worthy of respect. Don’t try to turn your man into a woman. Don’t try to make him resolve his problems like a woman. Don’t chastise him for not thinking or emoting or talking things to death like you. You don’t have to understand why he sees things so differently than you, but you do have to respect his differences as equally valid. Men are not inclined to talk in circles about every problem until they’re emotionally drained. Respect that. For you it’s cathartic, for us it’s hell. It doesn’t mean we respect the problem less than you do, it just means that what’s a therapeutic method for you is not necessarily one for us.
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  • Respect and faith in abilities are more important to a man than love. This is the hardest for a woman to grasp, and it’s an ugly truth, but if you don’t grasp and accept this you’ll always have relationship problems. If men had to choose between feeling (a) loved yet disrespected and inadequate or (b) unloved but respected and competent, a vast majority would choose choice (b). To men, love without feelings of respect and adequacy from their partner is a more hellish fate than receiving no love at all. And if you don’t give them respect and a feeling of competence, they will seek that validation elsewhere. I don’t just mean from other women, although that’s likely. It can be from a hobby that they know they’re good at, it can be at the gym, it can be from sports, it can be from writing in his study, it can be from his male friends that make him feel like he’s a great guy…there are tons of places he may withdraw to to get the validation he feels he lacks from you. Which in turn may cause you to nag him for not paying enough attention to you. Which in turn may just drive him further into his alternative source of validation. And then you get a vicious cycle.
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  • Even the men who appear the strongest secretly have a fragile ego. One of the biggest secrets men have is how delicate our egos are. If you publicly build up your man’s ego, whether in front of his friends, family or even total strangers, he will think you’re the most wonderful woman in the world. Yet feminism and the media has given woman some strange mental block about this, as if doing so is some admission of weakness on their part. I call this the Claire Huxtable syndrome. I know it’s blasphemy for an ’80s kid to say this, but I hate the Cosby Show and I really fucking hate Claire Huxtable. Every chance she got, she emasculated Cliff for laughs in front of his parents, his friends and even his own children. And a generation of Americans ate it up and grew up thinking it was hilarious. Try watching several episodes of the Cosby Show now and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Cliff gets up, tells some story from his youth about some accomplishment he was proud of and may exaggerate a little. And almost immediately afterwards here comes Claire to set the record straight, poke holes in Cliff’s ego and embarrass Cliff by letting everyone know “what really happened.” And it ends with everyone in the room laughing at Cliff’s expense. Nowadays we see this dynamic as the norm in the media when marriages are depicted in sitcoms and commercials. It’s always depicted as cute and harmless. Is it any wonder public disrespect of men by their significant others, whether in the form of backhanded compliments or “harmless jokes” or outright chewing out, is practically an epidemic now?
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  • Fuck his brains out. Self-explanatory.
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  • If he’s telling you what’s wrong with the relationship, and your bitter manless friends are telling you something different is wrong with the relationship, listen to him over them. Those bitches are manless for a reason. And misery loves company. (this especially applies to black women, who for some reason seem to especially give a lot of weight to what their chronically single and bitter friends think)
  •  

  • Respect his ambition. Women tend to be geared more toward security. We as men understand that. Men, however, have a need to conquer. To hunt. To compete. To master things. Modern society doesn’t give us that many avenues to exercise those needs any more except in our careers, which leads to a lot of frustration in the modern man. So unless your man is talking about taking some seriously foolish or dangerous risks, support him in his personal ambitions to the best of your ability, even if you can’t totally understand them. Make him think he can achieve his lofty goals, and let him know you’ll still love and respect him even if he tries and fails. A real man would rather try his best and fail than never try at all.
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  • Don’t let your looks go. Call it shallow, but men are programmed by nature to be visual creatures. We can’t help it. Just because you aren’t biologically and culturally programmed to value looks as much as we do doesn’t mean you should dismiss men’s preoccupation with looks as shallow and stupid. This is one of the easiest ways to keep your man happy, yet so many women foolishly underestimate and slack in this area.
  •  

  • Being a provider is at the core of a man’s identity, even if you make money too. So be sure to show appreciation for what a man contributes as a provider, and be understanding of a man’s depression when he feels like he comes up short in this area.
  • More Female PUA reading

    January 14, 2009

     I didn’t include these books in my first book list because they are a bit “out there” for most peoples taste. But… if you are looking for an edge I would recommend reading them.

     

    The first book is The Satanic Witch by Anton LaVey.

    If you are a fan of Marilyn Manson you would enjoy this book. The title of this book is somewhat misleading but most of the contents is very logical and not centred on superstition or what most people view goths/satanists being about. Anton LaVey seems like a well researched and intelligent guy.

     

    Here is what is included in this book:

     

     

    • Introduction by Peggy Nadramia / Introduction by Zeena LaVey
    • Prologue
      • The Test of the Thirteen Factors
    • 1. Are You a Witch?
      • The Myth of the “White Witch”
      • The Drug Scene
      • The Married Witch versus the Single Witch Choose an Image
      • “Natural” versus Acquired Ability
    • 2. Knowing Yourself and Others
      • The Real You
      • The LaVey Personality Synthesizer
      • Predominantly Masculine Types in Female Bodies and Vice-Versa
      • Temperament
      • Skin and Flesh Tone
      • General Proportions
      • Sexual Proclivities
      • Sense of Humor
      • Alcohol and Drug Use
      • Professions and Occupations
      • Sports, Athletics, Aches and Pains
      • Are You Passive or Dominant by Nature?
      • The Power of Certain Names
      • His Name
      • The Law of the Attraction of Opposites
      • By His Automobile Ye Shall Know Him
      • Sleep Patterns … and Other Bedroom Activities
    • 3. E.S.P.: Extra Sensual Projection
      • The Pupils of His Eyes as a Measurement for Success
      • Sound
      • On the Importance of Odors
      • Taste
      • Touch
    • 4. Looks Mean Everything
      • You Don’t Have to Be Ugly
      • Make-up: Projective Coloration
      • Your Fur
      • Your Undercoat
      • The Law of the Forbidden
      • Secrets of Indecent Exposure
    • 5. Fashion: The Witch’s Greatest Friend, The Witch: Fashion’s Worst Enemy
      • Cartoon Cuties
      • Stockings versus Panty Hose
      • The High Heel
      • On Prostitutes and Pentagrams
      • Accessories
      • Color Clues for Witches
    • 6. Bitchcraft
      • Taking Advantage of Men Who Think They’re Taking Advantage of you
      • How and When to Lie
      • Learn to Be Stupid
      • How to Charm a Married Man
      • Giving In
      • The Folly in Trying to Charm a Self-Aware Homosexual
      • The Lesbian Witch
      • Gesture, Mannerisms, Toilet Habits and Assorted Ploys
    • 7. Means of Divination
      • How to Tell Fortunes with No Previous Experience
      • “Cold Reading” and “Casing the Mark”
      • Prophesy
    • 8. Ceremonial Magic
      • Sex Magic without Sanctimony
      • Casting a Spell
      • How to Protect Yourself from Another Witch’s Curse
      • How to Become a Succubus and Attack the Man of your Choice While He Sleeps
      • On Choosing a Familiar or a Demon
    • 9. Public Relations for Witches
      • How to Break the news
    • Select Bibliography
    • Afterword by Blanche Barton
    • The endpapers display the LaVey Synthesizer Clock

     

     

    The second book is Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love by Betsy Prioleau which was recommended to me by Neil Strauss.

     

    Link to an interview with the author http://dir.salon.com/story/sex/galleries/2003/10/31/seduction/index.html

     

     

     

     

     

    The next is a compilation of articles called the Playboy Philosophy that was written by Hugh Hefner and published in Playboy magazine around the 1960’s.

    It is very informative about the development of today’s societies attitudes towards sex.

     

    Link to .pdf download http://therhetoric.net/2007/04/08/the-playboy-philosophy/

     

     

     

     

     

    Ars Amatoria. Latin meaning the art of seduction. Was written by Ovid a few centuries ago and is a Roman equivalent of the more widely known Kama Sutra although it focuses more on seduction and attraction and not on what happens after that.

     

    On first glance not very relevant to today but it makes for interesting reading and there are some things you can learn from it.

     

    Available for download from http://books.google.com

    Make-up

    January 14, 2009

    Hello Kitty and MAC

    Porn Star must-haves: Hello Kitty and MAC

     

    Biologically women are primarily attracted to the value a man displays while men are first attracted to a women’s appearance.

     

     

    If you have seen pictures of celebrities without make-up you would agree that the proper application of make-up will make a big difference to your appearance.

     

     I have a few suggestions:

     

    Application:

    1. Alexis Vogel did a lot of the make-up for Playboy magazine centrefolds etc. She has an instructional DVD available on Amazon and her interviews are also very informative. 

    Products:

    From interviews with pornstars, playmates and their make-up artists I have identified a few common products:

    1. MAC Spice lipliner
    2. MAC lipglass in Tartlett and Purr
    3. MAC eyeshadow in Nylon and Black tied
    4. Yves Saint Laurent Mascara Volume Effet Faux Cils, L’Oreal Voluminous, Max Factor 2000 calorie
    5. NARS blush
    6. Alot of Smashbox, MAC and Cinema secrets cosmetics.

    Book List

    January 14, 2009

    This should have you covered…

    What I have noticed lately on the PUA/seduction front is that there has been a definite shift towards getting your mindset right as that is what you automatically project in your words and body language (most of the time without you being aware of it).

     

    More people are also unlocking the power of hypnotherapy and subconscious autosuggestion. One of the pioneers of this field was Milton H. Erickson.

    I think we are very far from properly understanding the subconscious mind but I’m sure most people who are familiar with this topic will agree that the subconscious mind is powerful beyond belief and your key to unlimited success in any field you choose.

     

    Here is a list of books that I would suggest reading if you want to get to the source of what most of today’s inner game psychology and techniques are based on:

     

    Body Language

    • Amazing Face Reading – Mac Fulfer  
    • Body Language: How to Read Others’ Thoughts by Their Gestures (Overcoming Common Problems) – Allan Pease
    • Everybody’s Guide to People Watching – Aaron Wolfgang
    • How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less – Nicholas Boothman
    • I Know What You’re Thinking: Using the Four Codes of Reading People to Improve Your Life (hardback) – Lillian Glass
    • I Know What You’re Thinking: Using the Four Codes of Reading People to Improve Your Life (paperback) – Lillian Glass
    • Peoplewatching: The Desmond Morris guide to body language – Desmond Morris
    • Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behaviour – Anytime, Anyplace – Jo-Ellan Dimitrius, Mark Mazzarella
    • The Book of Tells: How to read people’s minds from their actions – Peter Collett
    • The Naked Ape – Desmond Morris

    Cold Reading

    • Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life – Paul Ekman
    • Full Facts Book of Coldreading – Ian Rowland
    • Initiations – A viewpoint on the art of coldreading – Alexander Thomas
    • Making Contact: The Real Secrets of Contact Mindreading – Satori
    • Speech, Reading and Listening Tactics – Rosemary McCall
    • The Ultimate Guide to Cold Reading – B Thomas
    • The Writer’s Guide to Character Traits – Linda N. Edelstein
    • Hellstromism – S. Reilly

    Hypnosis

    • A User’s Guide to the Brain – John J Ratey
    • Hypnosis – A Comprehensive Guide – Tad James MS PhD, Lorraine Flores, Jack Schober
    • Hypnosis: The entrancing art – Mike Lawson
    • Hypnotic Realities: The Induction of Clinical Hypnosis and Forms of Trance – Milton H. Erickson
    • Hypnotism and Meditation – Ormond McGill
    • Monsters and Magical Sticks: There’s no such thing as hypnosis – Steven Heller
    • Open to Suggestion: The uses and abuses of hypnosis – Robert Temple
    • Self-hypnosis and Other Mind Expanding Techniques – Charles Tebbetts
    • The Healing Power of Hypnotism: What It Is and How It Works – Caroline Shreeve
    • The Hypnotic World of Paul McKenna – Paul McKenna
    • The New Encyclopaedia of Stage Hypnotism – Ormond McGill
    • The Practice of Hypnotism: Volume 1: Traditional and Semi-traditional Techniques and Phenomenology – A.M. Weitzenhoffer
    • The Theory and Practice of Hypnotism: Unlock the Full Potential of Your Unconscious Mind – William J. Ousby
    Hypnotherapy 
    • Handbook of Hypnotic Suggestions and Metaphors – D.Corydon Hammond
    • Mind-body Therapy: Methods of Ideodynamic Healing in Hypnosis – Ernest Lawrence Rossi, David B. Cheek
    • Special Techniques of Brief Hypnotherapy – Milton Erickson
    • The Psychobiology of Mind-body Healing: New Concepts of Therapeutic Hypnosis – Ernest Lawrence Rossi

    Influence

    • Easily Led: A history of propaganda – Oliver Thomson
    • Get Anyone to Do Anything – David J. Lieberman
    • Influence: Science and Practice – Robert Cialdini
    • The Psychology of Persuasion: How to Persuade others to your way of thinking – Kevin Hogan
    • Unlimited Selling Power: How to Master Hypnotic Selling Skills – Donald J. Moine
     

    Mentalism

    • Kosher Products Lecture Notes – Andy Nyman
    • Mentalism, Incorporated – Chuck Hickok
    • Mind Warp – Richard Mark
    • Mind Reading Exposed – mindreadingexposed.com
    • New Dimension Lecture Notes – Jez Rose
    • Paramiracles – Ted Lesley
    • Secrets of Mind Power – Harry Lorayne
    • Secrets of the Amazing Kreskin: The World’s Foremost Mentalist Reveals How You Can Expand Your Powers – Kreskin
    • Short, Punchy and Mental Lecture Notes – Andy Nyman
    • The Mental Magick of Basil Horwitz – Basil Horwitz

      NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

    • 23 Steps to Success and Achievement: The Dynamic Plan That Will Change Your Life – Robert Lumsden
    • Accelerated Learning in the Classroom – Alistair Smith
    • Advanced Language Patterns Mastery – Larry McLauchlin
    • Applications of NLP – Robert Dilts
    • Beliefs: Pathways to Health and Well-being – Robert B. Dilts, Tim Hallbom and Suzi Smith
    • Change Your Mind: And Keep The Change – Connirae Andreas, Steve Andreas
    • Communication Magic: Exploring the Structure and Meaning of Language – L. Michael Hall
    • Develop Your NLP Skills – Andrew Bradbury
    • Frogs into Princes – Richard Bandler and John Grinder 
    • Interpersonal Communication – Peter Hartley
    • Introducing NLP – John O’Connor and John Seymour
    • Jay Haley on Milton H. Erickson – Jay Haley
    • Leaves before the wind: Leading edge applications of NLP – Charlotte Bretto Milliner, John Grinder, Judith DeLozier and Sylvia Topel
    • Managing with the Power of NLP: Neuro-linguistic Programming for Competitive Advantage – David Molden
    • My Voice Will Go with You: The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. – Milton H Erickson and Sidney Rosen
    • NLP at Work: The Difference that Makes a Difference in Business – Sue Knight
    • NLP for Lazy Learning: Superlearning Strategies for Business and Personal Development – Diana Beaver
    • NLP made easy – Carol Harris
    • NLP Workbook: A Practical Guide to Achieving the Results You Want – Joseph O’Connor
    • Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, MD: Volume 1 – Richard Bandler and John Grinder
    • Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, MD: Volume 2 – Richard Bandler, John Grinder and Judith DeLozier
    • Presenting Magically: Transforming Your Stage Presence with NLP – David Shephard, Tad James
    • Reframing – Richard Bandler, John Grinder 
    • Selling with NLP: Revolutionary New Techniques That Will Double Your Sales Volume: Guaranteed – Kerry L. Johnson
    • Sleight of Mouth – Robert Dilts
    • Teaching Seminar with Milton H. Erickson – Jeffrey K Zeig 
    • The Encyclopedia of Systemic NLP and NLP New Coding – Robert B. Dilts, Judith A. Delozier
    • The Language of Metaphors: An Introduction – Andrew Goatly
    • The NLP Field Guide (Part 1): A reference manual of practitioner level patterns – Jules and Chris Collingwood
    • The Secret of creating your Future – Tad James
    • The Sourcebook of Magic: A Comprehensive Guide to the Technology of NLP – L. Michael, PhD Hall, Barbara P. Belnap
    • The Spirit of NLP: The Process, Meaning and Criteria for Mastering NLP – L. Michael Hall
    • The Structure of Magic II – Richard Bandler, John Grinder
    • The Structure of Magic: a Book About Language and Therapy – Richard Bandler, John Grinder
    • The User’s Manual for the Brain: The Complete Manual for Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner Certification – Bob Bodenhamer and L Michael Hall
    • Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
    • Thinking from A to Z – Nigel Warburton
    • Time for a Change – Richard Bandler
    • Saul Alinsky rules for radicals
    • Machiavelli
    • Time Line Therapy and the Basis of Personality – Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall
    • Time-Lining: Patterns for Adventuring in Time – Bob Bodenhomer, Michael Hall
    • Training with NLP: Skills for Managers, Trainers and Communicators – Joseph O’Connor, John Seymour
    • Trance-Formations: Neuro-linguistic Programming and the Structure of Hypnosis – Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Connirae Andreas
    • Using Your Brain – for a change: Neuro-linguistic Programming – Richard Bandler
    • Whispering in the wind – Carmen Bostic St Clair, John Grinder

     

    Cliff’s List

    January 14, 2009

    It is good to associate yourself with Playboy…

     

    Here is my letter that was posted on Cliff’s List http://www.cliffslist.com/
     

    Kelly Monaco:
    Female PUA: A New Perspective

     

    I read a random article in the news about Russell Brand seducing Che Guevara’s granddaughter with musings on Alexander the Great (who, if I recall correctly, was bisexual.) Classic !

    Reminded me of the PUA community and other topics in which I am very interested. Which lead to this post.

    I like lists, so here is one I wrote a few days ago.

    Some tricks to get the attention of men (from a female perspective):

    1. If the guy has put a bottle / hat / jacket on the table, nudge it with your hand as you talk to him. Making contact with an object belonging to him will subconsciously create a type of Kino between the two of you.

    2. Be physically inviting (but not too much.) High-fiving, brushing past him, and casual touching all work well.

    3. Make friends with a girl that is with a group of guys. Compliment her ! Tell the guys that they are lucky to be around her because she is hot / looks nice wearing tight jeans / has really nice lips.

    This has a few effects:

    a) She will feel less threatened by you.
    b) You may come across as bisexual – which is a good thing.
    c) You have put the guys down a little by saying they are “lucky to be around her.”
    d) She may return the favour with a compliment about you, and point out something good about you to the guys she is with.

    4. Look a guy up and down and say something like, “You look nice,” then walk away.

    5. Make him feel good in front of his friends.

    6. I carry cheap Playboy Bunny necklaces with me and put them around a guy’s neck if we have had a good conversation and he asks for my number.

    This has a few effects:

    a) It’s good to associate yourself with Playboy.
    b) He is more likely to phone you if he has something of yours.
    c) He can go and show it off to his friends …

    7. Be approachable. It will give men the opportunity to open you. Even if you are not interested in a guy that approaches you, it will make you look desirable if you are seen talking to different men.

    8. If you are with a group of men, do not bore them with talk about hair / make-up / shopping. That’s when most men stop paying attention.

    9. Keep the type of man in whom you are interested in mind when you get dressed to go out. If you like goth / vampire boys, wear an S&M studded cuff. If you want a biker guy, wear leather gloves.

    10. Know your brands ! If you are in the game of attracting successful / famous men, you need to know how to identify these men at a party. Know what a genuine Jacob and Company watch looks like (from 5 meters away.) Look out for Ralph Lauren Polo shirts, etc.

    11. These visual clues also give you information on how to act / what to mention around these men. If you see a man wearing a Rolex Oyster Perpetual watch at a party in the Hamptons, he may well have a yacht. Do not refer to this in an obvious way, but slip it into your conversation.

    12. Don’t take your self-empowerment to the extreme. You don’t want to come across as a feminist.

    13. Make yourself stand out.

    14. A mistake lots of women make is looking disgusted / berating a guy if he mentions anything sexual or says something like, “That chick over there has a nice ass.” You need to associate yourself with sex, not distance yourself from the topic. Reply by agreeing with him that the girl does have a nice ass, and that he has good taste in women for noticing that.

    I don’t intend to offend any men by what I said in points 10 and 11. I know it sounds a bit “gold digger,” but as books such as The Game emphasize, men are attracted primarily to looks, while women are looking for value in a potential partner. (See also Stylelife Challenge Day 14: The Evolution of Sexual Preference by Thomas Scott McKenzie and Ray Timmons.)

    Some (but not all) indicators of value are conspicuous status symbols (e.g. watches, brand name clothing etc.)

    I think I will write another list in the future, giving a more well-rounded view of to how to identify quality men (which some men may learn from as well) and will include things like the mindset of the successful male, and how this is projected through body language, etc. One thing I feel I should mention now is that the leader of a group of men is usually the one walking in the front of the group when they enter the club / go to get a drink at the bar.